Spirituality has been a buzz topic the last few years, practically everyone you know has been sacredly reconnecting to themselves. The crystal collecting, sage-waving phenomenon is only on the rise. More people are identifying as spiritual beings, and are having transcendental experiences and unexplainable spiritual awakenings. Everyone, including your neighbor, is a lightworker (e.g., Katy Perry) and “love and light” has probably become the staple term of endearment amongst your group of friends. It has also become a term to show sentiment to people who are going through tough times.
“Love and light!”
“Everything will be okay.”
“Just be positive.”
“Don’t dwell on it.”
We have all used these phrases at one point or another to comfort a friend, family member, or even ourselves. The real question is when does the overly optimistic vibe become detrimental to our outlook on life? If you are masking your emotions and challenges with “love and light” or “unicorns and crystals”, chances are you aren’t fully processing your emotions. Positivity is a wonderful attribute to carry in your back pocket, but if your intentions behind being optimistic are to ignore your feelings this can be counterproductive. A meaningless “love and light” or affirmation won’t do you or anyone else any good if your intention is escapism.
While New Age spirituality urges us to be positive and see the good in all, there has to be some divine balance. Contrary to popular belief, spirituality isn’t all about riding off into the sunset on a pegasus while sipping fruit smoothies, or meditating in the Himalayas elbow to elbow with a monk. A major component of spirituality is getting real with yourself. How can we do this if we conceal ourselves with perpetual happiness? How can we authentically hold space for our family and friends if we don’t allow them the opportunity to feel their feels?
It is imperative to feel your emotions - the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s even more dope to allow others to feel their feelings without overly optimistic input. Affirmations, mantras, and quotes are powerful tools that can beneficially aide us on our journey, but without doing the inner work, you are simply glossing over your challenges and putting your feelings on the back burner.
The next time you find yourself about to muster up that optimistic remark in response to someone else’s, or even your own woes - pause.
Are my intentions aligned with this comment?
How will my words affect the other person?
Am I really providing myself (or the other person) space to vent without input?
Am I really hearing myself (or the other person)?
Do I just really want to be heard?
Am I masking any issues or patterns?
Positivity isn’t the issue because let’s face it - no one wants to be around a negative person. You might be the positive one out of your circle of friends, or the family member that always has the right words and that’s completely fine. Remember, it’s about your intentions for being positive and finding a balance to be a source of comfort and voice of reason.